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8: The Hair Club for Spurs

Let's face it: Spurs are a DAMN good looking and attractive team. Between Scott Parker's homage to a 1940s RAF pilot, Jan Vertonghen and Michael Dawson's well-manicured combovers, Gareth Bale's spikes, Hugo Lloris' flyaways, and Benoit Assou-Ekotto's myraid designs, we could have the most attractive side in the history of ever. Combine that with the gaffer's ginger stubble, and...I'll be in my bunk.

9: We'll all feel terrible when Aston Villa are relegated on goal difference

Aston Villa have been a member of the Premier League since it was formed in 1992. They have the second most seasons in the top flight behind Everton. They are a former European Cup Champion and used to be a perennial top 5 finisher. This is a massive club. Unfortunately, they have fallen on hard times, have lost their captain to Leukemia (get well, Stan), and are currently in the bottom three based on...goal difference. They were thrashed in back to back games 8-0 by Chelski and 4-0 by Spurs. A WAGNH commenter brought up us feeling bad. I will feel bad.