Happy Spursday, everyone! What do we want? A STRIKER! When do we want it? OH GOD, MY EMOTIONS!

Lewis Holtby gets the start today, y'all! As some suspected, Adebayor starts the game on the bench, and the lineup begins with no recognized striker. It's unclear yet whether Clint Dempsey is playing up top, in the hole, or part of a 4-6-0 formation. Also strangely, Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Jan Vertonghen start the game on the bench, with Kyle Naughton starting at LB and Steven Caulker at CB. Guys, what is this? Am I still drunk? I don't even know.

For Toon, the French Connection is in full effect with Moussa Sissoko, Matthieu Debuchy, Yohan Gouffran, and Sylvain Marveaux all in the starting lineup. Papiss Demba Cisse starts up top.

Lineups:

Tottenham Hotspur (4-6-WTF): Lloris, Walker, Dawson, Caulker, Naughton, Dembele, Parker, Lennon, Holtby, Dempsey, Bale
Subs: Friedel, Vertonghen, Gallas, Assou-Ekotto, Livermore, Sigurdsson, Adebayor

Newcastle (4-2-3-1): Krul; Debuchy, S.Taylor, Coloccini, Santon; Gouffran, Perch; Gutierrez, Sissoko, Marveaux, Cisse
Subs: Harper, Yanga-Mbiwa, Anita, Tiote, Marveaux, Obertan, Ameobi

Just a reminder to everyone: it's just a game. No matter what happens today, please keep it civil in the comments. Personal attacks and excessive disparaging vulgarity directed towards players or other users will result in warnings or worse. Everyone be cool, 'kay?