The following paragraph was written by Bryan Ashlock because SB Nation ate the original one that theroosevelts wrote.

Happy Friday, Spursland! Or at least that's what a normal person would say on the first day of June. I, however, am sick as a dog and instead of enjoying the sun and sand here in Miami have been holed up in my apartment for the past week trying to figure out how to stop sucking at FIFA. And for those of you who are concerned, no I don't think I've caught the zombie disease that is going around South Florida. Now, in non-Zombie Apocalypse news:

VDV Refuses To Comment On Transfer Talks-Sky Sports

VDV is always professional and I love him for it. Much like how many of us love another certain professional.

Bale Says Nice Things About Track Star-Goal

Bale also warns that the next season will be difficult because defenses will know how to stop Walker. He speaks from experience as he is Mr. Get Shut Down By A Double Team. Then again most players probably also fit that description. Perhaps I am being to harsh?

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

RGIII May Be Looking To Change Sports-SB Nation Soccer

While other people around the country might find this kind of cool, my experience living in the DC area tells me that this will piss off to no end a good 40% of Redskins fans. because, you know after so many years of Dan Snyder ups and downs they are all insane.

Texas A&M Fans Bring Honor To The Longhorn State (No They Don't) by Calling DC Columnist A Communist-SB Nation Soccer

As a member of the fan-base the has so offended the members of Aggie nation I would like to invite those who sent these incredibly ill informed letters to JUST THE GUY REPORTING THE STORY OBJECTIVELY to suck a bag of dicks.

Klinsmann's Team Proves Against Brazil That That They Are A Work In Progress-SB Nation Soccer

I was unable to watch the game due to inevitable circumstances of my day job, but I am very pleased to see that people are looking at Michael Bradley a bit better. I always thought he was a bit underrated.

Liverpool Announce Press Conference For 10 am British Time-Anfield Asylum

This is almost undoubtedly about them changing the breed of grass they use at Anfield. I am like 99% sure of that.