This might belong more at WAGNH, but I don't know if they'd appreciate this.

When the reports of Fernando Torres' unhappiness surfaced last week, I envisioned the meeting between the striker and Blues' management going something like this.

Inspired by that one post about Sandro that was titled "Sell Me Maybe?"

(To the tune of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe")

(Verse 1)

I missed another, oh well.

Don't ask me 'how in the hell?'

Down to my knees I just fell

Nothing has gone my way

Traded my soul for the gold

And lost my eye for the goal

Now people say I look old

Nothing has gone my way

(Bridge)

Paycheck is golden

Stamford Bridge -- Shed is groaning

Italian managers -- chest hair showing

Please just let me leave here Roman!

(Chorus X2)

Hey, you just bought me

And this is crazy

But here's my request

So sell me, maybe

It's hard to score goals

From the subs bench

But here's my request

So sell me, maybe

(Verse 2)

At Liverpool I was king

The Kop End would kiss my ring

'Ne'er walk alone' they would sing

But now they think I'm gay.

Make Andriy look like a steal

50 million - unreal

I didn't broker the deal

But now it's in my way

(Bridge)

Paycheck is golden

Stamford Bridge -- Shed is groaning

Italian managers -- chest hair showing

Please just let me leave here Roman!

(Chorus)

Hey, you just bought me

And this is crazy

But here's my request

So sell me, maybe

And all the center backs

Used to chaseee me.

But here's my request

So sell me, maybe

Before I came into the team

I was so damn good

I was so damn good

I was so God. Damn. Good.

Before I came into the team

I was so damn good

I was so damn good

I was so God. Damn. Good.

(music interlude)

It's hard to score goals

From the subs bench

But here's my request

So sell me, maybe

(Chorus X2)

(Fade Out)

Yeah, my Chelsea hatred is at an all-time high right now....