"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo"
Premier League players have the occasional (sometimes not occasional) dalliance with prostitutes. Cue the faux surprise and outrage.
Without getting into a whole moral discussion on prostitution, let's consider the idea of athletes with paid sexual entrepreneurs. Some people would like to be a professional athlete because of the fame, money or even the love of the game. Then when the judgey people leave, most admit that they would like to be a professional athlete for the incredibly hot women athletes get. I mean, seriously, have you seen Abigail Crouch? Any professional athlete can pull it off.
Clearly, finding an attractive woman is not an issue for professional athletes so why would they spend time with a prostitute? Louis Saha was kind enough to explain it to us normal folk in an excerpt from his new book.
"Footballers aren't all the same. The bling, the sex-addicted nature, the big cars - all that exists. But because of that, the bad judgments seem to take over.
'Let's be honest: women are the greatest temptation. For a young player, it's an achilles heel.
'They can quickly be taken in, seduced by the girl who will cash in with a kiss-and-tell to the newspapers. So it's hard to know who to trust and you become paranoid where women are concerned. Some players therefore prefer to use escorts."
That's actually sound logic. You may not do the same if you were a professional athlete, but there's logic behind it.
So is Saha a prostitute aficionado? He never really says, but he wins the fun logic game. King Louis reigns supreme.