(With apologies to Dean Martin and, well, everybody.)

Oh, Europa League travel's frightful
And the match won't be delightful
It probably will be a bore
In Maribor, Maribor, Maribor!

It's to stave off disqualification
That we travel to this nation
Spurs intend on scoring goals galore
in Maribor, Maribor, Maribor!

We've a Euro rep to preserve
'Cause to lose breaks a footballing law
So to progress like we deserve
All that we need is a draw!

The Carpathian Mountains beckon
When we get there then I reckon
It'll be just like the Balkan Wars
in Maribor, Maribor, Maribor!

Will we finally see the reserves?
Hate to see Adam Smith on the pine.
It's a worthy time to observe
How the Slovenes will make Andros shine!

Yes, Slovenian beer is tasty
But don't drink slivovitz too hasty
Or they'll scrape you up off the floor
In Maribor, Maribor, Maribor!