Okay, I'm now officially resigned to losing Luka.  If not now, in January.  So let's have some Mad Libs fun in trying to find his successor!

Spurs to Replace Modric with [Player 1]?

Tottenham, on the verge of losing want-away playmaker Luka Modric, has turned its eyes towards [Player 1].  [Player 1 Last Name], currently plying his trade for [Team], is a(n) [adjective], [adjective] [position] who could help alleviate the [noun] that Modric would leave behind.

[Player 1], though [adjective], has expressed [feeling] at joining Spurs/denied any interest in leaving [Team] [circle one].  "[Expletive-laden bullshit, must use word "t'riffic""], said manager Harry Redknapp. "But I'm sure Daniel's working on it.  "[Nonsensical phrase]."

Meanwhile, though the deal for [Player 2] is said to have cooled in recent days, Spurs are also rumored to be interested in [Player 3], [Player 4], and Liverpool's Joe Cole.