The Tevez thread combined with our constant complaints about Harry's lack of imagination* got me thinking about ways we could accommodate our best players and somehow incorporate Tevez, or a similar false 9 player, or our in-form striker at the time, Defoe for right now.  Van der Vaart, as much as I love the guy, is a complete defensive liability if he's played outside of an AM/CF role.  So here are a couple of ideas I came up with to use outside of the standard 4-2-3-1 that a lot of us have been begging for this year.

*plus being extremely bored in chemistry with my computer

The 4-1-2-1-2 or "The Narrow Diamond":

via i.imgur.com

This is the formation I had in mind for Defoe, or if somehow Pav puts his shit together and manages to be something close to in-form ever.  The problem with a 4-1-2-1-2 is always going to be width, so in order to compensate I thought Walker and Bale would fit in at wing backs.  Neither, by any measurement, is a rock in defense, but both have the pace to track back quickly.  Still moving as far up the pitch as would be necessary to create width would create numerous counter attempts in which both Walker and Bale would be caught out of the defense.  Sandro would be playing the role of the sweeper at all points in which we had possession, and Parker as a DM covering the entirety of the field.  This by no means leaves us solid at the back, and would require a great work rate from Walker, Bale, Parker, and Modric to track back after the loss of possession, but I believe the combination of Parker, Sandro, King, and Kaboul would be disciplined and skilled enough to break up possession to allow us to switch back to a standard 4-1-2-1-2 without possession.

The 3-4-3 or "The Straight Barca Rip:

via i.imgur.com

Oh dear god, that is a fluid, attacking mess of arrows.  To keep this short because class is ending, Tevez in the role of the false 9 creating space for Ade and VDV to run into.  Bale would provide width on the left and be allowed to come into the middle of the pitch when he felt necessary.  Modric would be playing a free, creative role behind the front four in possession.  Parker would remain a box-to-box midfielder with a defensive responsibility, and Sandro would, yet again, be my sweeper that would essentially create a back four in possession with a DM, Parker, sitting in front of the back four.  I think this formation would both be solid against the counter and allow a creative, attacking fluidity that we would never dream of here at Tottenham.  Of course we are never going to get Tevez or probably another world class player with the ability to play the false nine, so I'll just shut up now.

I hope my insane ranting didn't turn anyone off.  If anyone has any questions or wants to throw rocks at my stupid formations feel free.